Matt Stone Birthday Haiku, 2002

Matt Stone Birthday Haiku, 2002
Posted by: butters @ 05-22-2002 01:20 Yep, it's that time of year again. Time to exhibit your ample haiku skills in the name of former Employee of the Month: Matt Stone. Get crackin.
Posted by: Zuzu @ 05-22-2002 02:17 Matt Stone is so cool. His birthday is just two days after my birthday! ~~Zuzu
Posted by: butters @ 05-22-2002 03:29 Very good ZuZu. Did I mention that I may throw in a little prize to our best poet who knows it?
Posted by: luscious_t @ 05-22-2002 03:31 From your mommy's womb... Ouch! I hope they gave her drugs. We're glad she had you! :)
Posted by: Zuzu @ 05-22-2002 07:51 I want a cool prize, and am willing to show my boobies if it helps. ~~Zuzu
Posted by: luscious_t @ 05-22-2002 09:59 Zuzu show your tits. Alas, I have too much pride {but I give good head...} LMAO :)
Posted by: Zuzu @ 05-22-2002 11:26 I give good head, too, but they would have to fly me to Matt to prove it! ~~Zuzu
Posted by: luscious_t @ 05-22-2002 11:32 Hell, I don't even own a DVD player... bet the set's the prize... :p I just like writing in haiku format; it is excitement for me. :( ;)
Posted by: Zuzu @ 05-23-2002 12:25 I don't ever write in this kooky haiku form, but I must WIN STUFF! ~~Zuzu Tif, if you win them, you can just send those bad boys to your fave, Zuzu!
Posted by: jediprice @ 05-23-2002 12:42 Haikus are dumb They are really stupid sh*t And you are a stupid... no... god damn it! No, lemme try again.. You\'re a dumb fat ass You can\'t keep just one fourth friend Happy birthday moron ;) \"Your haiku insults have no effect on me\"
Posted by: jediprice @ 05-23-2002 12:44 How did thoes \s get in there??? Hmmm...
Posted by: beckyboop @ 05-23-2002 02:38 Winning stuff is cool I want to win something too is this possible? I have no tallent for this hiku poetry Letalone spell it! But Matt Stone is great I think he has a hot ass Is beauty his curse? Rejoice for his life And celebrate his tallent Get drunk and pass out! I never really got the hang of this!
Posted by: Filthy_Sanchez @ 05-23-2002 02:05 Happy birthday Matt I wish I were you right now you got tons of cash
Posted by: Zuzu @ 05-24-2002 07:56 How did we let this slip off to the second page? Matt deserves better! ~~Zuzu
Posted by: luscious_t @ 05-24-2002 10:38 Happy birthday, Zu! I like Matt's ass better, but hope your day's good, too. :)
Posted by: Zuzu @ 05-24-2002 03:16 Awww, thank you luscious! Yes, I know I could never compete with Matt's ass. ~~Zuzu
Posted by: Sharkie @ 05-24-2002 07:11 I wish Matt a Happy Birthday Don't let anyone say your old. I really love your afro and that's all i can say.. Sharkie
Posted by: MadameLash @ 05-24-2002 08:28 Sharkie that was bad Dont you know how to create A decent Haiku? Madame Lash~~~
Posted by: Sharkie @ 05-24-2002 08:37 I know that was pretty bad. SOrry I never really learned how to do i haiku.
Posted by: CanadaCartoonist @ 05-24-2002 08:49 A Birthday Haiku Now that might be hard to do But might as well try The Cartoon's a hit Going on Six Seasons Strong Maybe Six more Too? Pretty Decent Cash Girls who'd like to grab your ass Seems like a good deal Your one year older So one more beer every night Have a good one matt <<Dax>>
Posted by: beckyboop @ 05-24-2002 08:51 A challenge this time A hiaku that will all rhyme Something I can't find Okay, that was crap And it wasn't about Matt Let's just forget that Matt's fame has spread wide Yes, from seaside to seaside My smile I can't hide For he is funny That big afro'd honey Whilst makin money His hair is so sool! I bet he was teased in school But he's not a tool He is Matt Stone, yes! And he is one of the best! Known from east to west
Posted by: lianne @ 05-25-2002 07:25 This is a tribute to the greatest ass in the world, how sweet it is. Zuzu has birthday Then Bob Dylan has birthday Matt Stone has birthday hehe, wow that was a new low for me. I want your fro' please And your nice, taught, firm, sweet ass, Get drunk and have fun Go hard or go home And please always comb your fro' I'll do it for you Happy Birthday Matt I think you need a pussy ....cat, to keep you warm. I want some prizes Cause I tried my very best So here's my address
Posted by: lianne @ 05-27-2002 02:32 Finally a half decent post on this darn BBS, and it goes straight to page 2. Gees. Figures it took the staff to present a half interesting topic.
Posted by: jennorific @ 05-28-2002 02:12 Matt's ass is hairy Lianne sent me a picture I am scarred for life. Eric Stough is cute If Lianne gets any pics Please send those to me.
Posted by: lianne @ 05-29-2002 08:39 If I had a pic, Of that cutie Eric Stough, Then I would keep it. I would send that pic To jenno, my syphillis sharing buddy smile I am terribly Bad at creating haiku's I'll keep my day job. My day and night job Is the performance art of Necrophilia.
Posted by: jennorific @ 05-31-2002 12:57 Necrophilia Also involves some gerbils Up spacemancraig's bum. But Craig has not paid His EZ ASS bill lately So, no fun for him. Lianne, if you want You can come visit me soon And spread STD's. Where would I be now If syphillis and Ashleugh Were not in my life? I would probably Be somewhere in Great Britain Drinking tea with Tibbs. I would turn limey And get my ass kicked by all Making it ugly. When my ass is gross I will not be sad because Matt's is still grosser.
Posted by: beefylogs @ 05-31-2002 07:20 What the hell is this? Haikus are stupid and lame Bit much ass talk, too. -beef
Posted by: Zuzu @ 05-31-2002 07:33 Matt's ass is not gross! You're jealous of his sweet ass! ...wonder where butters is... ~~Zuzu
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Posted by: jennorific @ 06-01-2002 11:15 "Monty Python and the Holy Ass" He had a vision: "Arthur--seek the holy ass!" is what God did say. He went to find knights that would battle so bravely to find the great ass. It was important To know the velocity of a laden ass. This small fact will prove to come in handy later when the ass is near. Arthur found his knights and they set out on their quest for the holy ass. They got excited when they were in a small town and thought it was there. They heard people call: "Bring out your ass! Bring it out!" But it was not found. Was the ass oppressed? They asked some local peasants, but they just dug dirt. A mean French Taunter just had insults and no help. They built Ass of Troy. That plan did not work So they all split up and left to seek the fine ass. Lots of stuff happened That I don't have time to write. Go watch the movie. To end the story, They tracked down the holy ass, but got arrested. They now spend their days Locked up there in solitude in the castle AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. This really did not pertain to Matt's ass at all. I guess I digressed. So to sum it up, King Arthur was quite crazy. Who would want Matt's ass???
Posted by: Big-Will @ 06-02-2002 02:31 The Assback of Notre Dame So we did observe Matt Stone's thirty-first birthday and wrote haikus But one thing we missed That two fair ladies tackled --- Wonders of Matt's ass This ass got around Appearing in history And mythology In tales and stories In grand battles and great treks The ass shone brightly And now the story Of the ass's strangest life In the land of France It appeared upon --- Not Quasimodo, no no --- but Matt the Stoner It was small and cute Not hideous in the least But that would change quick Matt's mom saw the ass And gave up Matt to the priest That he may guard him And the priest beheld And was shocked, and did promise To cover the ass And so Matt did live Under the priest's protection And grew to manhood One day he saw her, Sweet Esmeralda, and pined To see life outside But the priest stopped him And warned him of the dangers His ass might incur The Stoner bolted And ran to that fine lady Who looked back sweetly Secretly they danced And courted each other, yea, And she liked the ass And Matt like her back For she fondled the great mass that made up his ass The priest did find out And locked the stoner away And swallowed the key Matt looked down and saw Esmeralda looking up And their eyes did meet Their hearts sang and sang And they poured out their feelings He showed her his ass She devised a plan By which to trick the priest, yea, And rescue her Matt She drugged the poor priest And punched his lights outs, you see. And removed the keys To the tower did she Run and open the door wide And rescue her Matt They ran away, two... Or is that three? He and her ...and it, the fine ass. Thus ends the story The Assback of Notre Dame And Esmeralda You don't believe me? Go to your library now And read the novel. :)
Posted by: Big-Will @ 06-02-2002 02:59 Ah, just one more thing How did Esmeralda get The keys from the priest? He swallowed them, true She opened his stomach and grabbed them, then closed it. * haiku 21, line 1 should read "To the tower she"
Posted by: jennorific @ 06-02-2002 08:31 My vote is for Will winning! That rocked! Will, that was awesome Next, maybe you can author The Ass of Hazzard!
Posted by: lianne @ 06-03-2002 02:23 Just show us both up why dontcha William? Thanks very much! hehe, those are excellent! I can never write again...
Posted by: lianne @ 06-03-2002 04:22 Well I guess I can.. Dr. Stone is vile He craved world domination With his Mini-Ass His arch-nemisis, swinging stoner Trey Powers Tried to bring him down Dr Stone was strong With his laser of potent rectal emmisions Trey Powers was stoned But this increased his power Against Mini-Ass At one/eighth his ass Mini-Ass was Dr. Stone's Most prized possesion But Trey Powers killed Mini-Ass, "Damn Newts!" he said "Mini-Ass must die!" Trey then remembered That Lianne hates Newts, not him "Mini-Ass must live" Dr. Stone was pleased He gave Trey Powers a joint And they both got high. When the pot wore off Stone remembered his laser And aimed at the Earth The Mini-Ass frowned The Earth must not be destroyed Mini-Ass saved Earth He took aim at Stone And beamed rectal emmisions Till Stone was no more. And thus ends my tale Completely non-sensical As it truely was.
Posted by: lianne @ 06-04-2002 01:48 No way this is going to the second page...
Posted by: Big-Will @ 06-04-2002 01:57 Uh uh. You and Jenno are excellent haiku scribes, too. :)
Posted by: jennorific @ 06-04-2002 12:52 That was nice to say! Thank you for the compliment. You write well, also . But I fear that I have lost my touch for haikus. The Python one sucked.